Sigh...

I finally heard the truth from Syed, it was only just a game. His friends were toying me using him even though he was nice enough to actually wanting to tell me. I don't blame him for doing so. It's not like i literally want him to be my boyfriend. I did say that before :-) So I'm glad Syed told me sooner before i actually fell in love with him. Agh... hahaha . I'm grateful ^^ and gladly i'll say, NO HEARTBREAKS occur . Alhamdulillah. So yeah, Syed told me to stop liking him so i should because i mean, his words is whom i can only trust right now. He never betrayed me before so he's a HERO. Thanks for everything and also to Hazie for finding this out :')

Kinda

Assalamualaikum,

Tomorrow's exam !! okay, not trying to pressure any of you guys. Goodluck By the way :-) may the knowledge be ever in your favor. Not to mention study Heart and Smart.

So mostly you guys don't understand why i say Heart instead of Hard. WELL, i created this word so that people would learn to study from the heart instead of forcefully needing to do so and that what you read will go into your brain and function well for exam :-) Understand? Good ^^

Just now in school, i barely seen him the whole day. I kinda miss him but I'm glad at the end of the day i got to see him clearly when school was over. He was RIGHT behind me. Lol, still no hello but who cares right? at least i got to see him smile. ^^ <3

Happy girl is happy :-)

Meaningless Post

Twinkle twinkle little stars, how i wonder what you are
Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little stars, how i wonder what you are :-)

If the world when speechless, I don't mind still believing in fairytales, i don't mind wanting to be happy and i don't mind following my heart, telling me to keep on wishing and hoping for a dream come true. I'm fine, even when i can't feel belong in someone's heart, treating me like i'm right, like i'm one of a kind and not someone's usable toy. I'm fine, I always do.. I just want my dreams to come true. I just want you.

Hopefully

Assalamualaikum,

Another day to talk about. Finally, I mean, FINALLY, i passed his class. It's a success :-) his friends was really excited when i first walk up the stairs. He was like "Haikal kat kelas" then he looks left and right and run to his classroom shouting "HAAAAAAAAAIKAAAAAAAAAL!!!" hahahaha, it was uber funny but what's not funny is that Syed said something that put my hopes down. I understand that it won't but i just wish it will (Ignore this phrase) Right now, i'm just hoping for the best and well, pray that it won't fade. Amin ^^

So hey there crush, If all fails, you're still an admirable person. Wish you well in the mere future. Life is beautiful if we open our hearts to realize that the journey is never that far. Keep smiling :-)

In Love ?

Assalamualaikum,

Guess what? I just sent him the letter, of course not directly gave it to him, i sent my friend to do so because well, i'm too shy. Especially when his friends actually read it.  I'm so embarrass, oh god.  hahaha , fingers crossed, i hope he replies it back. :-) because alhamdulillah that he actually smiled really really widely for it. It made my heart pound when someone smiled that beautifully for one little thing i did even from a far. Yes, I'm saying he has the most beautiful smile that i ever seen. I'm mindblowned. Just Wow-ed. Am i in love or something because i can't put him away from my mind? That feeling of falling in love is just, amazing. I miss this and i'm so grateful for this feeling to actually come back to me after months of suffering. Ya Allah, hahah so happy.

Bersyukur lah Sarah, finally someone is finally giving me that beautiful butterflies in my belly and non-stop heartbeats again. Happy girl is happy. I hope that this is Allah's way of saying i still have hope to smile even when i lose a dime in my hand, a new dime is made to make me shine brightly again because when the moon fades, it will always go back to its original form one day. Alhamdulillah. That's all for now. :-) Keep smiling ! xoxoxo

Oh dear .

Assalamualaikum,

Basically, I just blocked a friend of mine... AGAIN. This time is because an obsessive feeling from someone I'm less interested with. Not saying i dislike him, i mean he's a friend of mine and i don't have that feeling towards him but he, he just don't get it and it gets annoying because he keeps saying "I like you" "I miss you" and all. Syed told me to just block him and i did but i feel bad though. I'm not a blocker and i would eventually unblock him someday. Gaaah ! I'm not a fan of cruel things. Nope, not a fan .

Anyways, I'm sorry if i did that to you, I'm doing this because i want you to stop liking me. It's been 2 years and you got to stop feeling that way and being so desperate to actually have a girlfriend. You'll have your time, not now but I'm sure someone would want you in the future. I'm sure but no, it's not me. So please understand.

Amilia Rahamad

Heyya Classmate :) HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY !!!! 

I know we barely talk in class but you have the prettiest smiles I've ever seen and you always seem to glow :) Not sure how i could explain that but surely, you'd understand what it means ^^ Be happy always, May god bless you with things in need in your life. Study Heart and Smart. Cheerios Beautiful ! :D

Living On My Own

I practically think that maybe i'm forcing myself to do things that it can barely do again. I'm upset about it. I cried myself to sleep in the afternoon just now. Funny how i was actually talking to my bolster, releasing everything i feel with it. I hugged it, used it to wipe my tears and the ears to all of my problems. I'm sorry dear Bolster, you've been with me for 15 years and to confess everything i feel with you, I feel good :') I love you <3

I'm starting to get lonely again. I can't keep feeling this way. I tried to find new things to actually keep myself company but, i just feel that, I'm overdoing stuff . My heart needs a rest, my brain needs a time out and my life just needs a little peace of heaven . I remember why i used to be so alone again, it was because it was night, everyone is asleep and half dead and I'm up with Insomnia . I really wish someone would actually tell me, I'm not alone and they'll be there for me till i fell asleep but that's never gonna happen. Not when everybody are busy with their own life. Like what she said "The world doesn't revolve around you alone" . Sadly, it's true . 

Someday, I wish a human appears to come to my savior . 

Notice Me

Assalamualaikum :)

This pretty much explains everything i feel right now . ^^

Notice me <-- Listen here :)

Lyrics

VERSE: I try to find the words when you walk by (walk by) Words just can't explain the way I feel (I feel) inside My friends keep sayin you're untouchable And I can't help feeling invisible CHORUS: I'd do anything to catch your eye So you could see me in a different light Tell me what's it gonna take cause I wish you would notice me If you could only give me just one chance I could be the one and here I am What's it gonna take to understand Wish you would notice me Notice, notice, notice me Notice, notice, notice me VERSE: You've got a light that never seems to fade I'm drawn to you and I can't look away We come from different places, girl I know, mmmm But two worlds collided could be beautiful CHORUS: I'd do anything to catch your eye So you could see me in a different light Tell me what's it gonna take cause I wish you would notice me If you could only give me just one chance I could be the one and here I am What's it gonna take to understand -cut off here- BRIDGE: I wonder if you know how amazing you are You leave me breathless You didn't even try but you've stolen my and I don't want it back I don't want it back CHORUS: I'd do anything to catch your eye So you could see me in a different light Tell me what's it gonna take cause I wish you would notice me If you could only give me just one chance

Confession

Assalamualaikum,

Hello Readers. The title says that i actually had an emotional talk to one of my friend. I told her what i've been feeling and she's the only one who knew what i wanted but she doesn't basically knows everything though. I mean, messing up in life is just a study to me, the real exam is the breakthrough . I'm taking this as something I'm going to learn instead of something that i should be sad about .It's dumb if you take it that way. I'm not that lifeless to actually put sadness in life. Not anymore. Been there, done that. It was a picture that hurts me the most and i'm not going to look back this time . It's when people, will no longer have the chance to actually turn back time anymore . I'm 95% over the past and now awaiting for the 5% to actually GO. I pray for a good future and the Al-Mighty to do me good in life. What i am now, is what i should correct. A bit pun a bit la, as long as i'm happy and faith is in my hand. I hope this way, I'm no longer thinking of what's gone. Amin.

Cheerio ! ~

Katrina Iman

HAPPY SWEET16 BIRTHDAY :D


Hello there :) Hope you're reading this. We might not have hung out, talk that much or actually bump to each other purposely to actually look and say Hello but but, You're existence is much appreciated :) You're growing prettier each day, I'm sure you're boyfriend would agree with me. Whatever you do, never forget the place you once belong because what you do, you got to do it good. Lots of Love <3 Keep Smiling, never lose them, Know that your teeth is beautiful and so does your personality ^^ Sincerely Sarah :)

I've been meaning to Say

Assalamualaikum,

Today is just another regular failure in school. I didn't get to say hi to him nor see him the WHOLE day, except the part when i got in from school. Not sure what to do but my heart beat really fast whenever he's near me. I could barely breathe. It's stupid since, it's not like we have any connection but god knows how nervous i am around him .

So tomorrow i need to pass up my art project. I don't want to drop my arts even when i DO have the most Ignorant teacher for that. I mean dude, I tried to draw, what makes you think it looks like a freaking worm. I never did something that awful before. If you were to judge my drawing, let me see yours. It's not like it's a perfectionist . Phft ! Arts teacher. High Expectation. I'm not a professional artist, try to be at least easy on us students -.-

I'll post more when i have something to say. Till then :)

1 May

Assalamualaikum May, People :)

It's 1st May. Probably a new start for me to try and actually say hello to him. I mean rather than not do anything, that's just.... stupid . Phft. Like Syed said "Wimp" . I'm really shy, embarrass actually, around him. Can't do anything in focus when he's on my mind 24/7 . Gosh. I really like him but, i just, i don't know. I don't feel like having him as my boyfriend. Maybe because I'm not ready to have one immediately. I need to gradually get over what has been haunting me and just, look forward. I've moved 80% from my past and god knows how hard am i trying to remove the other 20%. Most of all, i should get to know him better, go out with him a few times to know that he would be the right guy but i'm sure, RIGHT isn't always there because there's always the WRONG guy. Come on, almost everyone agrees with that. Thought he was right and then you found out he's wrong . Phft, life . So enjoy your  month, study heart and smart for exams and well, keep smiling :)

An Adventure

Assalamualaikum,

I just got back from Johor in about 6++ pm just now and i'm incredibly happy because, it was a nice vacation before my exam that is in 2 weeks time. I know i shouldn't be roaming the internet but i swear, I'm just dead bored right now. I have this insomnia thing going on in the moment. SO I went to Singapore and went to UNIVERSAL STUDIO :D . Tell me about it. It's better than Australia's Movie world. so much stuff in Singapore you want to go some more hahah. Small country with big things is nice :)

I rode the HUMAN that is a SCARY SHIT ride. I mean, the speed is unpredictable. I've been pushing my safety gear to the front whenever it goes to the steep rails. Didn't get the chance to ride the others since we were in a rush trying to catch up with the theme park( i was scared actually....), also because we got a dinner gathering with my cousins/family in Singapore. It's been 2/3 years . How i miss them :'( and god, they are all grown up. Well i don't expect them to be that mature. I mean look at me, i don't look like i'm even growing up.

Met my lovely Grandma, Aunty Helen, Uncle Franky, Uncle Dustin, Kingsley, Ryan, Jeremy and Mei Mei (I'm not sure with the spelling though. Didn't actually ask her to spell her name for me lol) It was a day to remember .Whatever it is, i know i missed carnival today but spending time, bonding with family is quite an adventure so i guess, i'll end it here.

Ps. Didn't get to see my other uncle that is Uncle Sunny. He was busy with the model photography that he didnt have time :( well, i hope someday we would meet again soon.

Goodnight ^^

A Night with You pt.2

Assalamualaikum :)

It's 1am here. I should really be in bed but im here just to talk a bit about what i'm feeling right now. I'm a mess. At times i was happy and there'll be the downs that i very much dislike . Bipolar? -Yea, a name i prefer being called for. Not sure if what i'm doing right now is right for me . I'm only following where life takes me. Never did i agree doing what i do now. I'm only here because i have to, because i have the chance to make things right again. It's not like i want what i did . Not like moving in a direction to hate anybody, dishonor everybody . I still need the courage to do something for myself. Only i know. Only i do. My heart is lock after what had happen before. To had trust people was the last thing i want to do. Nothing seems to go my way but I'm happy, i have a nice life now. What i'm saying is, instead of focusing on someone, i'm only focusing on myself but it gets pretty lonely around here. I usually get those texts like those couples used to say when they are mad for each other and right now, i'm doing that to my girlfriends, not in a lesbian way but it's how we girls roll. It's not the same with my friends. Seriously. Now no messages, no nothing. Just, nothing . I miss that feeling when i do that with that someone. Desperate? -I won't call it that way. I'm just practically feeling empty. Love used to be my EVERYTHING and now, it's just something i crave for.

I'm not putting love as a priority but i'm just stating the point of my loneliness. I'm still fine to the extend of what you think and see of me everyday. I'm totally fine. Goodnight then :) Bye and Sweet Dreams

Experienced Pt.1

So a lot of people had been in this kind of relationships. Break ups, misunderstandings and etc etc . Well I've been there too and here are some pointers i could give you. It's based on what i think is right  and not compulsory for you to follow but it could help you in someway or another.

          1.Break ups (They just don't understand)

Well, i know break ups are the worse kind of pain you will have in years and days to come. Everything happens for a reason and sometimes, we just have to overcome that feelings and move on. There's a reason why an ex is an EX instead of an ex back to an ITEM again. You see, ex never always understand what you require in life and ended up leaving you and some ex's just want to live a new life with someone else. Don't blame them for not being the best for you or them to leave. They gave up on us and to begin with, we should have known things like this would happen to us some day. It's good that you trusted them and it's sweet of you to have still waiting but, it's no use doing so if they never appreciate you in the first place. As much as we want to, things just don't go our way. For me, Ex means Exist. They exist in our life because it was destined and they leave because it's a story that we're supposed to go through in a way we do not realize. They don't actually want this to happen and some would go all "I regret" in everything. It's bad to be so ashamed of ourselves to not had realized it but it's a lesson and the only thing we can do now is, START OVER and do your part and get it right . Screw past, we're in present. Learn from it. Nothing always go the way we wanted so instead of looking back, just walk ahead and flow around it. 

Ps. If you still plan on waiting then i suggest you best brace yourself to things that might surpass you. I'm afraid instead of holding on, you'll hate yourself and break down for attention of someone we might not want attention from. Annoyments i mean .

          2.Friendship (I trusted them)

Friendship is a golden ticket to me. I say so because they are what we need and are important. Gold is treasure and they are the treasure to our loneliness. Without it, what are we to come? Based on my view, people value friendship more than love because they could trust them and i bet, everyone got their heart broken by friendship because of broken trust. Some people just can't get enough of giving too much trust in someone they are close with and barely know and you thought they are the answer to all of your problems when they...... just DON'T ? We can't just tell of our feelings, secrets to just ANYBODY we KNOW . Think, do you even know them well to actually know they are trustful people and when you tell them, you just start to blame them in everything for the rumors and hectic stories about you. Well you are to be blame too. *slurps some cola* You don't always make great choices and you make mistakes too. Just forgive them and just stop trusting them for a sec and think for the better. If they are good enough to be a well known soul silencer then, go ahead, explode your inner everything. Some friends can't take any of your whines and we can't always expect them to listen and understand if they never even know how to. Stop expecting everything from your friends but if you have a problem, seek them when you can but not ALWAYS, if you actually do that always, that'll be a great way for you to get less attention now. Oh and HELLO, they are your friends, treat them like friends does, they aren't councellors. Thanks :)

Till then for now. Keep watch for pt. 2 if you need some tips :)

Periods ? Sure

Assalamualaikum and Hello boys and girls :)

Yesterday i was awfully sick but alhamdulillah, it wasn't severe because i had this headache that i wish wasn't there and a stomach pain so i had to go home from school early. I missed class and i also knew i had missed fun . Gosh. How would guys react to a pain like this? I bet they whine a lot, more than getting hit by a brick. Stupid? I know and reasons? They dislike pain as much as girls and this kind of pain is the reason to skip schools. I can be sure that there'll be 89% missing boys in school if that happens . Lol . No offense but we girls wish we could do that too and guys can easily miss school so we girls get NUTELLA :p

Never Did i Forget

This is kind of stupid but I'm still counting. Not sure why though but it's a memory so, happy memories ? Happy 1 year and 6 months Memories *blows my own candle* I'm dumb to had celebrate it on my own since we're going on our own direction. I'll take care of myself since you can't be there for me anymore. Au Revoir <3

Keen For Something

Assalamualaikum,

I'm back for more stories to tell. Things has been quiteeeeeee........ a turn ? I'm not sure how you would say it but i'm good. I know i am. So i have this one year younger crush and well, i'm very much interested in him. He got that traits i like and Gosh, hahah even though i'm writing, i'm just so speechless. I guess things just... Want to make you happy again ? I know god wants us to keep that smile on our faces and that is why, i've been patiently waiting for the right time :) I don't mind being with a boy younger than me, It's cute and well, i love kids :p

I'm not sure if he likes me back because my friend said that he was waiting for me to pass by and so he could keep watch from behind. His friends even nudged him when they saw me. It's practically embarrassing since some of his friends knew how i looked at him and maybe... how he looked at me too ? I hope one day i could get that chance to say hi because this is a love story that i would want to remember. Nothing attached, no words spoken before and just our eyes doing the talking. I want to write him a letter BUT, i'm quite shy. I mean what would his friends think of me?What would HE think of me? I'm older than him and he would probably think this is some childish thoughts i'm having writing a letter to a younger age. I'm going to fast *knocks head* I like him but letters? Phft ! sure xD hahahah

Tomorrow, let's do it tomorrow. Let's try. A letter with nothing but a HI :)

Hello There ,

Assalamualaikum,

It's been awhile since i blogged and i'm sorry . I'm not even sure about who's reading anyways. Well, my life has it's ups and downs right now. Moving on is never easy as you know so many things has been treasured by the the present yet i know it's not right to look back nor think about it. My best friends are trying to erase the memories that has been suffocating me to stop. I haven't gotten the hang of it but i know, i could do it if i try. I'm afraid of getting the same treatment from him. Even just a friend, i envy how he talks to other people. It was never like our conversations. I'm pretty sure no one would like to get that same heartache and the same reason why you broke off with them. What i'm doing is just to accept it, not complain much and just go with the flow. I shouldn't mind it anymore.

So my cat, Max just got injured yesterday. He was run over at the hips by my brother's car. It was an accident we didn't want to happen. So today we sent it to the vet. It seems like he'll be okay but he need to hospitalized for a few days. As an owner and a pet lover, YES i'm worried :s

Insyaallah, it will heal soon. I love you <3

Guess that's all from me. Oh and my school is having a carnival. Do come ! :D

Venue: SMK USJ 13

Date: 29th April 2012

Time: 8am till 3.30pm (I guess lol)

Take care :)