Masquenova Prom 2013 (101113)

Yesterday was supposed to be a blissful night and it still is, but something came up and turned everything around because of one who came and left .

If only I could turn the time, maybe I could make it right . Change the tied, make up for all the time has lost . Maybe things wouldn't have to turn this way. We could still enjoy every night spent if only you were there for me a bit longer and maybe I wouldn't be this way because what am I when you asked me to be your date ?

Everyone was hopping on the dance floor with their love ones, enjoying every jumps they take when the DJ turned the song slow song into a chaotic rave party from prom to madness . I made my mark to stand beside my friends and sing along to the song I knew were on and raise my hands in the air to songs I find beaty and crazy . I lost myself when I realize, I was the only one searching for him in darkness I could not see . It totally saddens me how you could party without me, even for a second . But because of you, I got to party with my friends and I don't regret anything .

   Meet my date . You come to realize how something does not feel right if I started saying, the guy beside me isn't even smiling . It feels one sided somehow but understandable . This picture was taken when I almost lost his precious mask that he made for half and hour and I'm sorry . But that's not the case, If only you were there more often beside me, things for me could've gone better but you were still gone, lost and you asked me to be your date but it didn't felt like it even when we got the chance to slow dance to the song my best friend sang . That was the only moment I could laugh, look at you and hold you close but after that, it was like the world is speaking to me, saying that this is the moment where you need to let him go. You told me before prom, during SPM, you said, you wanted to take many polaroid pictures with me where you'll have one of us together and one of my own and that I'd do the same to have our picture taken together and a picture of you for me but that didn't happen . Even before we left, even when you spoke to have a picture taken with me, you wanted to give me the picture even though you asked for it . It hurts when it feels like I am holding the memories and you're just keeping me broken . You may not realize it but I wish you knew better than to hurt me . But it's okay now . I hope things will be better soon. I do not wish to fight or get upset because of what you've done wrong anymore because everyone makes mistakes and that I'll just have to learn to not take anything to the heart .

By that time, I'll be ready to face you again .

 

Anyways, meet Marina . My best friend's girlfriend from Johor . She's beautiful and It was lovely meeting her . It was something new since I made friends that day. I was even got the chance to be introduced to Arif's new girlfriend, Marissa . She was gorgeous . As I thought, he never lost his eyesight for girls haha .

 

And here's to the Masquenovians prom people in 2013 . Everyone made this work and thank you for the committee for helping out on the tickets selling and such . Most thankful to Aizi, our prom president for making everything possible . <3

Horrible

Assalamualaikum,

Hello there .
It's almost the year end and look at me. Things has changed so much, I started to screw up again . My previous post is the total opposite of where I am now . I no longer have a boyfriend, I'm lost and I may be smiling so much at the moment but my heart is torn apart . The flow I've been going through is coming to a bumpy road. The more I go on, the more I want to stop . Usually, the best time to talk about this is to seek your friends but maybe I couldn't take the heat even after a conversation because they aren't here to comfort me and instead, I'm wiping my own tears through the phone, getting my sleeves all wet . How is things ever going to be the same again ? I'm losing my smiles to a horrible memory .

I question myself everyday, if I could do anything about it . Now, all i can do is depend on myself and to not care as much as I did before because the lesser you care, the lesser it'll hurt . I used to love someone so much that everyone turned on me because I was controlling a life that I don't own and now, I stopped doing what I did and start a new beginning to the point where I just hung myself to say anything . Patience was everything they said, but how long will I endure the patience of not saying anything as I too have the right to say what I needed to say but i worry, what will they think and feel . I might lose the trust, the respect, the love, the care, the wants and the needs and I could be just another person in life to not be bother with .

Right now, my feelings are numb . I feel hate but I love, sad but happy and when I wanna feel, I feel empty . There's nothing to consume inside my heart no more . I guess this is the moment where I take a break from all the feelings that had been thrown at me . I was never a priority to my love ones anymore except for him, my ex and I knew I lost him because I was well aware of my empty feeling of nothing . I felt so bad and I may regret but I know I was never worthy of his love. It was too great for me to handle that I tire myself from holding on and for being afraid of the heartaches. Loving someone too much could destroy you . I'm no one to tell you but every relationship must ready a band-aid because you won't love someone so much till they're gone .

I know I fell for someone new yet old, a past love I never want to turn back to because I hate how he took me into his life and throw me somewhere far to catch me back again . It's like an off and on switch which he needs when he got nothing to do . I felt used but he wants me to trust him that there ain't another, that I was someone he wants to care so badly now and I wonder , what does trust means to him . Sometimes I felt like there was more than just me in his heart because I knew I could never measured up to the girl who is the reason why we stopped loving each other . It could be nothing now but it's a fear I can never run away from . Maybe he doesn't love me anymore, maybe he just wants to be friends , no commitments and just normal friends getting along because I never felt love since that day he put me second. I don't blame him but I know I wasn't someone important to him , not as much as what he does in his daily life but I don't mind now . Like I said, I feel empty. I could taste hurt but my heart is numb from all the heartaches . I cried enough to cry some more.

I hope this tells you enough about my life

Goodnight