People and Fire

They told me I should be strong .

Risk my present for the future, to lead a sad life to a happy one.

To know that I was breathing through pain just so i could meet my walks, is harder than I thought. I'm afraid of many stuff . If my scars were to bleed, I would already be wrapped by bandages . No one knows how it is to be me but claims to know it all and judge as The non powerful jury but even though i shouldn't mind whatever that has been brought up, It was offensive enough to have hurt someone who didn't know anything at all . What has done has been done but no one would believe in the person itself but rumors that spreads like a burning fire . It might dwell at some point but there will be a point when no water is presence to perish the flames. I am that object and I'm burned . There wasn't any hero to save at all . I admit I could be what rumors has been talking about but I'm not any of those branches . I don't make things become a two thing or rumors that makes it three . I don't understand what satisfies the public . The cries, the pain or the smiles ? What happen or what we are isn't the problem and public makes it an accusation of the influence of bad when there wasn't any bad traits about it . What they didn't know is that they are the bad influence, the influence of the fire burning . We aren't the one making the flames, they are and people just don't understand that .

Example : Larry has a Ferrari . Ember told her friends that he stole it and her friends told their friends that it's  from a rich family but what they didn't know is that Larry owns the Ferrari and he's the rich kid .

Do I make a point here? I hope i do . I'm not trying to offend any of you people who read this but you who are offended could be the reason why some of the victims cry at night . Instead of making sins, it's better if you leave the judging to the Al-Mighty . So please, if you're unsatisfied with somebody, ask them nicely and when we give you the answer, we don't expect rumors or bad mouthing or what shit that comes to mind . I hate people like this and I'm sorry but I'm tired of getting the same treatment from despicable human .

Till then .

Ps. Again, I'm sorry if any of you guys are offended by this but some things are rather be told than to hid in a burrow to make another tragedy happen . It's like learning history but easier, so do yourself a favor and make yourself an admirable person and not a judge . That's not what god told us to do . We aren't here to jail anyone, You won't get any income anyways .

BreathTaking

Assalamualaikum,

I'm Ba-Ba-Back !!!
I miss writing but i keep having empty thoughts on my head even though i kinda think a lot . Most of the time, my schedule would be filled with Heuston . Maybe I spend to much with my boyfriend but it's not easy living apart from him . It's SO not easy . Reasons why I rejected "asrama" . Leave me be, i love good foods where i get to eat home cook food with my family .

Apparently i have 5 more days till the countdown to seeing him again . Yay !!! * claps hand* I'm jumping with joy. It'll be our second time of meeting each other face to face and maybe it'll be more meaningful and that's because it'll be a date and this would be my first date i will ever be in my 16 years of living . Keep smiling ! :D

Recently

Assalamualaikum,

Today's another day to begin with . I wasn't fascinated by it . Though I get to answer my History exam smoothly, I had a TALK with my best friend about things i wasn't so fond about . It was surely important to me and life but i don't like talking about it much . Probably because my life ain't so going that way of life . I don't know, maybe it's just me again .

As always, I miss Heuston . Can't wait for these 2 weeks to end and us to finally be united again . I feel so bless if that was to happen by then . I wouldn't want any plans to interrupt us. Not when I've waited 4 months for him . I didn't think he could be this important .

I'm quite ill right now . My voice is a bit stirred and my throat feels dry . I never liked flu, not when it is the cause to my coughs . I'm dehydrated again because of this . I don't mind getting a fever but no, just not flu . It feels like the whole food I plan to eat is blocked and forbidden . Sadly, I only get to eat bread and less oily stuff . (actually, i never eat oily stuff often) I just hope for good food for dinner today . I would love some favorites tonight .

Due to my sore throat, I'm speaking in a British Accent. I kinda like it . Feels like a British now . It's not like I purposely want to make this kind of voice but I fond this accent in many ways if you're asking . Well then, keep smiling :)

Settled down

Assalamualaikum,

I finally solved the matter with him yesterday . We talked for hours and slept on the phone for our exhaustion of tears . We had a deep heart to heart talk that I didn't actually expect to happen . Probably me being the dramatic one but I was touch . Nobody ever said to me that it was fine of me to get angry because of him and that he deserves to be scolded as long it is about him and no other . I didn't know what to say but feel touch inside . For the first time, I knew I met someone different . No, special to me . REALLY special to me .

He isn't like the guys I met randomly, a person I didn't expect to get along so well . We speak our own minds and I felt love. A love that I could never receive by my previous . I'm happy . Being with you is happy okay? You might not be there for me all the time but you mean well, you didn't purposely mean to hide me in a box and wait for sun day to come . I finally understood you .

I know my ego is really high and for you to actually cool me down, its surprisingly a first . I usually get spaces from my ex's when I told them I need them but you, you said something that means so much to me and that was "I don't ever want to learn to live without you, so talk to me ." Nobody wants me around when I'm mad, NOBODY. How could someone like you even accept me ?

Whatever it is, I knew you were the one I need . YES, need and I would consider you as the first to be prioritized .

Another night

I'm teared up right now . Crying like stupid, I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. I can't walk inside my mum's room to her toilet with this kind of appearance, she'll think i had something going on and i needed help with. Gosh no, I'll be dead . I guess, it's another night to feel alone . I need my lone time . Nobody needs a person like me . No, he doesn't either . I bet if i even exist, there'll be tons on his caller to talk to . I'm just another . Deny that too ? No .

Pathetic

Assalamualaikum,

Apparently, today i found myself to be one pathetic person to have waited for someone who didn't intend to do as what he said just because i said "Go study". Waited for at least an hour to actually get a call from you whom to have come to said would call in about 5 minutes . Usually he would at least give me a text but nothing this time . Busy with Mods ? Can't he ask me? Just because I said I would sleep a bit late for english, He doesn't plan to even bother ? Am i not good enough ? I'm sure he'd say i am but there's no prove to it. What good am i if I can't even help my own boyfriend, study ? Well what can i say, your SMART girl-friend is there to help you and I'm not your OH-SO-SMART one . I'm just getting full of myself. I don't want to play smart nor if i can even do so, I'm just disappointed . I don't know if i could ever feel the same now . To accept myself as someone special, I deny .

Things people Probably wanna know

Assalamualaikum !
Hello dear readers :)

So congrats to the PMR candidates who came to school to serve the exams for flying results for their parents and do enjoy your holiday that started yesterday evening . Apparently, I was very jealous about their freedom . I know I'm not growing young anymore but it's so, FUN to be in their place right now . I wish i could repeat last year's days again . It was a memory worth more than just a memory .

Today's topic is about things people might wanna know about me . Take it as a biodata, applying for a lifetime work in reality .

Name: Sarah Adriana Binti Zainudin
Birthdate: 28 February 1996
Address: Around Taman Bukit Saga, Shah Alam, ss26
Hobby: Being all random
Fav Quote: Show Off your smirks and teeth and keep smiling
Fav Food: Chocolate and seaweeds
Fav Drinks: Yo Fresh, Sirap and Ais Kosong :p
About yourself: I'm the second child in my family . My mum calls me special, my dad calls me the sleeping beauty, my brother's best friend and my sister's company . I have a really painful memory during my childhood days. Had been alone for years until i made it to high school . Life has been a journey .
What Are You : I'm not a typical kind of girl, a bit boyish inside, people see me as a she-male but only 2 people had told me that I'm still a girl inside and cared for me unlike any other .
Ambition: A fashion designer, A model, Singer of my own dreams and A dreamer
Skills: Smiling and laughing
What turns you on: Boys with sexy necklines, perfect body shape, blue eyes and smiles
What do you do for a living: Roam around in the house, I'm not always a free bird
Things you love: Sweet poetry, touching stories, Fond of astronomy, geological facts and cute things


I guess that's it ? Unless people actually plans to ask me any . Just head on my ask.fm :)

Things

Assalamualaikum,

A lot of things had happen this week even though it was only the 5th day . I got sick, fought, smiled, laughed, tumbled, scolded and nothing seems to be right . If I could judge myself, I'm all torn up . Looking at myself like I'm a dead zombie trying to pull a fight towards reality . I don't know , maybe I'm just a bit caught up with everything that nothing seems to put me in a position where i could boost my confidence of I could .

  All i know is that i need to study, a lot . Catch my time to train myself to not fail a test. I'll make myself happy if I do so and for that, My parents could smile along. I might lose my senses but I know when to fight back . I know I'm strong .

And I'm sorry Heuston for being so uptight about things but what you did was never sincere and that concludes you to be wrong here but I don't blame you. it's just that I want you to know that, that it's not right and I don't feel good about this week that things just go sadly sad . I pulled a string to pull my loud voices of explaining a matter . You reminded me of so many things that I'm having troubles controlling it . I'm sorry but I only want you to myself but hey, at least I think that way than not trying to want you at all . If that's wrong, I don't know what to do, I'm no robot, I can't keep holding my feelings back. I'm hurting here . So please, I'm not perfect, I can't be your angel, I can't keep saving my feelings or it'll blew me off a cliff to hate you, hate you because you did things that's hurting me because I never did try to cheat on you by doing things you don't like and want . I won't leave you but just take care of me like how I'm trying to take care of us . We were too busy falling in love that you forgot that I was actually unhappy with things . My smiles could fake so many reasons but with you, I just don't want to .

Because my smiles are only real when it's with you .

Happy Birthday My Prince ~!

I love you so much ! I know we actually fought even on your birthday and maybe that's because I was selfish that i wanted you to myself and that people are interrupting me trying to wish you your birthday when I booked you first so it wasn't fair to me but whatever it is, I'm glad it worked out. I turned down my bad self into a girl who sang you a birthday song with a witch hat . I hope you'll remember this forever and that I remember this too . I never done such thing for someone before but with you, I could do almost anything . Thanks for appearing in my life. Thanks for being there all the time. Thanks for giving up so easily. Thanks for being my present and my future .

Have a lovely day with your family (you have a family, shut up . I'm one of them hahaha :p ) , friends and animals :) Truly wishing you a Happy Birthday of your 16 years of living. Let magic happen and keep smiling ! <3

Sincerely,
Your princess,
Sarahgogo :p

I'm still the dreamer of my own Dreams

I'm practically skyping with Syed right now. Not sure what to do actually so i agreed to skype with my guy best friend. My boyfriend apparently slept after a talk on viber and on oovoo, It's sad I know and it's not like you care but well, It was lonely so I played Gunz and it was awesome, I leveled up and practice my sword skills . It was pretty hard but I manage to do better with keys and clicks . I still need more practice though . I might be a girl gamer but I'm no professional . It's hard, literally. I don't spend my time wasting on games for an hour, it only takes about a few minutes to play for me and I'm done . I should be sleeping right now. I asked Amira to come to my house to help her with her accounts . I mean, my brother and dad are accounts expert, unlike me, I'm still learning and I don't have interest in accounting. I feel like a waste but I don't know, I'm testing my capability. A lot of people asked me to join art class due to my fond of art skills but they aren't close to good arts . Not close at all . Maybe for others it is but not professional artist that hangs paintings on walls. I take arts as hobby now, not a dream. They describe passion and feelings but not my ambitions. 

Gosh, What am I saying ? I feel like kissing my own face for being so uninspired . I always wanted my own clothing line. It'll be incredible .

3rd Monthsary

Happy 3rd month ! :)

another month till we meet and finally, i get to feel you in my arms again .

I miss your breath through my ears when you first held me. The way you look at me thinking of my "innocent" was a non mistake but everything was meant to happen. I can't wait . I don't know but somehow, i felt like we've been through together for years but apparently, this has been only our 4 months of knowing each other . June was a miracle . Knowing you was magic and again, i would never leave you. There's no such thing as no reasons because i always have a reason to come and leave but this time, running away from the things i love is stupid because I would fight for you . We told each other that how badly we fought and how we almost come to leaving, You would tell me to remind each other of the times we had and that would make us realize what everything actually meant to us before everything left .

I told you a bed time story about how we first met this late morning and what i thought about you before all of this happen in our history of life. Usually, you would ask us both to tell us this story when we felt all alone and sad or some shit hahaha. It's amazing how i could actually felt much love from you . I don't know if i deserve this love of yours because I love this feeling, I love you . Everything about you is special to me, no matter how weird and stupid it is.

It's been Special

Assalamualaikum,

WELL, I'm back for more postings!! Hope you enjoy Ze story telling :)

 On Saturday, I had a blast with my friends at Segi for an Observe.Learn.Explore. Camp. Everyone was awesome even though there was certain vains but, i had an enjoyable moment that i could never forget. It's funny how everyone wanted me to do all drawings and paintings and decorations stuff because non of my team mates could . But it was really nice with a new Chinese member in my team who comes to love arts is helping me . We shook hands when we actually won second place for the Halloween Theme . And there's this guy who looks exactly like Lee Chong Wei. He's one of the smartest guy in our group and PLUS, he's in science stream so that's cool . I was also happy that my schoolmate Amira AKA best friend AKA daughter is in my group. I did not expect that to happen but it did so I was thrilled . Kinda like, Fate is on our hands that could never seperate us apart. We almost did everything together . The best part is that my team name was SEGI Gangnam Style and we actually won 3 activities that is the crosswords, the halloween theme  hospitality and overall teamwork .

I guess that's it . Till then~