Shhhh Don't tell Heuston about This

SO I was like minding my own business and mesmerizing my boyfriend and I founded out that he smiles when he sleeps . I guess I'm not alone :p pshhh, in your face BIE and i saw busuk :) You look adorable .

Credits to Syukrina Kamilia :) 

SHIT !

Assalamualaikum,

Sorry for the long HIATUS . Everything was like packed . (not really) today I'll be leaving to Kuantan for 2 days and 1 night while my mum and dad goes to my brother's graduation in Terengganu . Since there wouldn't be anyone to do the meals, my grandmother makes the best nasi lemak ever ! I'm just saying . LOL 

  I'm having problem with the people I lost actually . Call me stupid but it's about my ex . It's been a long time since I came up with a topic to talk about him again . I don't like sharing personal feelings on my blog about someone who left . We still do talk to each other but that's when I started the conversation. It's been that way since the moment we were and not together but whatever it is, I still do care for him even though I'm sure as an ex, I should care about my own problems. Well it ain't easy people . He used to be a very important person to me .

  Back to the topic, he's not, himself lately . WELL, NEVER BEEN since 2011 October . Everything wasn't exactly everybody would still enjoy being with . I blame myself and at a part of it, I don't because he chose to change for his own good reasons and i still think that, that is NOT a good reason to change when he's already a good guy . I prefer a change in faith than the whole package . He lost it . He's bazaar . I would love to talk to him and catch up with him, see what life feels without each other but I just think that it won't be a good idea because I still think he doesn't like my presence around . I barely know who he is right now . Since ever i tried to be friends with him but it never worked out so i let it go and talk to him when I need something . The last time i talked to him was last week and that was just a chance to see and talk to him again . I wanted some games and it's true i do need some new games but instead of asking others, i wanted to ask him . All i can do right now is just leave everything to Syed. He knows what to do. He always do .

Tracing Papers

Assalamualaikum,

I felt like writing a letter again . I'm sure we have email, twitter, TECHNOLOGIES to make things LESS complicated . I don't know, maybe letter writing is something i can't take myself away from . It's a thing for me, rather than showing affection in text messages . People should rich this tradition of mails . I'm sure it's the most romantic way to get attention from someone we really like/love . It shows more effort and people might understand us in a deep way of speaking . I often write letters but I never got a reply until 3 months ago . It was the sweetest thing i had ever asked for from someone . So I decided to do it again . Funny how I get so excited that i feel like writing thousands and get nothing in reply . Gosh, i should calm my tits .

Apparently, today my boyfriend got worried about flies in his pocket . I'm sure he doesn't need to be that worried . I'm fine as long as he's here. He doesn't need to buy the ring for me because I'm not into him for his fortune . We're still teenagers, studying for the future that decides our outcome on our jobs . When he comes back, I wish to spend my precious time with him again and show him how much he means to me . Probably because I never had enough of him around me . I never wanted to let him go in the first place but the day ended so quickly that i never had the chance to . My heart boils for his hugs . I miss him :/

Everyday is another day to be strong about . I'll be courageous, to see the next chapter of my story . 

New to Blogging

Just helping a helpless boyfriend who loves rainbows and colors and mixtures hahahah 

Please follow somebody2someone.blogspot.com

Follow me too if could :) 

I can't afford That

Assalamualaikum,

Yesterday I had a really really terrible fight with my boyfriend and on the same day, I had a memorable day to celebrate Afina's birthday but it was filled with tons of will to go through this day and I don't know why, I knew that things were about to end .

On Afina's Birthday @ Sunway

  When we arrived at the Movie Ticket Counter, we decided to watch SkyFall since that's the only movie we had time to watch. Then we ate at Chicken Rice Shop since we were hungry and apparently, Aina ordered this large bowl of Nata De Coco . We facepalmed ourselves when it arrived and she had to eat a lot LOT on that day because she booked a lot of dishes for her to eat but couldn't finish her dessert so we all ate some to at least not waste food . Funny how she learned a lesson on that day but it's good that she did . Like my mum always say "Jangan jadi tamak. Makan ikut badan" . Before the movie, we almost lost the movie ticket.... Okay I did . I mean like come on, I was holding foods, ordering and taking picture . I know, why should I take pictures on an ordering counter ? Well...I don't know, I feel like it ! We entered IMAX and then this massive huge screen appear and it was bigger than the usual. *Uhh duuuuuh, it's IMAX* I would rate SkyFall a 8/10 James Bond ;)

The Conflict

  I finally told Heuston the secret I've been keeping from him. I thought I'll lose him right then but after 1 hour, he proposed to me in this formal wear with a money ring inside his earphones container and a heart on top of  it with my name tag pasted under it . I cried actually . I mean he'll stay after all of what I've done . But it wasn't clear since he thought i might do things he'll hate with him but he has to know, I would never betray him. Furthermore, I finally knew his secret in August. A fight that he almost lost me . He actually did cheat on me . It wasn't funny at all . I wished i could laugh but i didn't and instead, it gave me a shock . To had kissed someone when you know you thought love you like you do with someone else ? It was heartbreaking but I forgive him . Probably because i knew he's not that kind of guy anymore . I hope . but after awhile, he didn't reply my questions on the phone (he was asleep) and I was so sad and scared. I thought he was about to leave me as his whatsapp was on and off but he didn't reply my text . I cried like crazy . I even called Adam Malik for this . He was pissed actually . He didn't know Heuston was the kind of guy to cheat on someone . He was also pissed when Heuston took so seriously on my past when he should be sorry for cheating on me in the present . I told him to talk to Heuston because i was afraid he wouldn't talk to me . And then Arif called, he build my faith up again even when he's in a mess too . I couldn't help him since I couldn't call him for long . My bills would rise and my mum would kill me . In the morning that is today, around 6 am , he told me that he was sleeping and the off and on thingy on his phone was not him . Whatever it is, we finally made up and we turned in to each other . We promised no secrets or lies . We didn't want yesterday to happen again and we would live on and move on and not look back to our past .

It didn't end though . Maybe because love never left and a fight never last .

Causing Problems

Assalamualaikum,

Apparently, yesterday I didn't go to school and I called my boyfriend since he's going to have an operation on his leg soon in the morning . He called me around 8.30 am to tell me that he's going into the ward room already . I fell asleep after that and i remembered that the alarm was on but i don't remember if i was so sleepy that i turned it off . I mean i should be the one to call him but I didn't and he did . I knew he was crying during the operation so i let him off to rest since he wanted a rest but around 12++ we kinda had a conflict due to misunderstandings and attitude . I knew I was being too harsh on a sick person so I said sorry to, you know, not make it worse ? I really care for him so I had to turn my sensitive down . Sometimes I just wished he realize that he's changing bit by bit . I couldn't describe it but i felt different now and then being around him . I'm not sure ... But it's probably a fear I've been having . Maybe the reason why i cry at night .

Sorry but I sense nature's aura isn't that very nice . If it was to be, I hope things will go back to normal . Insyaallah .

  

  Oh and he's auntie brought back his/my busuk back to him . Yes, couldn't believe that he would forget the busuk but whatever it is, he looks sweet in here . and that metal there is the piece that was inside his left leg for all this while and he finally removed it since his leg is getting better . I'm glad everything is fine though . I mean, he can hardly take care of himself and he tells me I don't ? Phft, boys :) i love you truly .

To Love and Be love, 3rd November 2012

  

As I was getting ready for the date, we had a last minute change of places. From Subang Parade to Sunway because of the "There's no time" and all . Whatever it is, through the crowd of people in Sunway's Movie Counter, I found Heuston . He wanted to change movies but already bought the Sinister tickets and so I gave it my brother while they queue for Silent Hill, so apparently, our show was at 3.30pm so my brother and his girlfriend went in first . Me and Heuston was spending our time getting Afina a Birthday gift . We both picked it out for her and yes, mostly, he chose the items and I agreed on it . Guess Mummy and Daddy bought you a present in a thought of you ;) After that, we spent our time together and I can't thank him enough for going around carrying my things and paying 3/4 of the things I need . I'm so grateful and somehow I felt that I'm using him . I did deny him to not pay all of the things and that it was my turn to pay but he rejected it and told me "Let you be the first girl I ever belanja on a date, please?" and I was like screaming inside because he was being too sweet to me . Yes, I have a soft spot for sweet words but he made faces . I can't even say no. But when we were buying our popcorns and stuff, we were fighting over, "LET ME PAY" at the counter . (I won, so I pay. lol finally, something to pay for)

Before that, I was wearing my leopard print crop top, it was so airy and it kept falling to the side of my shoulder and I was like adjusting it for the whole day. easy said, I looked sexy and Heuston was like, adjusting my clothes so no one could see my skin . I felt so secure somehow, maybe because no one had ever done that. He hid everything that needed to be hid and then, he bought me a flowery pin to cover the back of my top and it was pretty how he pinned it up . I kissed his cheeks on the spot when he done pinning it . He smiled and just grab my hands out of the shop .

Continuing to the movies, in the cinema, he poured popcorns on my lap accidently and we also regretted watching movies at sunway . It was blocked by a stupid arm rest thing that we couldn't cuddle . I was like asdfghjkl and when we walked out the cinema, my back bottom had popcorns all over and inside the toilet, i was plucking the popcorns saying "This is embarassing" Hahahaha. ALSO ! When we were all cuddly, his phone had this "azan" ringtone when he recieved a message and people behind were laughing, we were laughing and The people behind was like "Phone siapa tu?" and I was like ROFL. oh and when we had to go back, he carried me to my car . I guess, my car was a white horse and he's the prince . I think I already have a story to tell my kids in the future and well, my kids would be like how romantic is daddy because on that date, Heuston wanted to browse around baby clothes but I didn't want to because people would think I'm pregnant and I wouldn't want that to happen because I'm not even married but whatever it is, I looked at him with a smile . I couldn't help it, it was the sweetest thing .

I'm going to miss him and i hope the memories we made would last to the next time we meet .

Oh and I LOVE HIM !!!!!!! *screams to the crowd* :)

To love and be love, 2nd November 2012

Assalamualaikum,

Yesterday was an unexpected invite for a date together with Heuston . We did a couple of things I wished I could have done it with my previous boyfriends but could never but he gave me everything even though it was unexpected .

2nd November

  We had it all planned the day before for a catch up thing before Saturday, that would be the actual date together. Double date actually but Amira and Sakthi couldn't come and they would be replace by my brother and his girlfriend . It's supposed to be a thing we're supposed to do on that date so we couldn't possibly cancel it and plus, my brother wanted to spend time with his girlfriend . I knew both of them would love to run away from their everyday routine .

Back to the topic, My heart was beating like crazy in school and I was like "Why am I even here in school? Shouldn't I be at home, talking to my boyfriend about how we would say hello?" and I was having butterflies all over . I talked to Syed, Amira, Haikal and Afina about how i should react when i see him and they gave me advices like Take a lot of pictures, Don't complain and all sort . It's funny how i never actually follow all of them . Hahaha except the taking pictures though ;) After school, Amira said goodluck and all and my heart was like jumping all around . After 5 months and he's back . I feel so alive that time even when I got my results that made me have a foul mood but things change when i thought about him . He was whatsapping me like "I'm nervous." "My heart is going dup dap dup dap" It's exciting . When i was about to head out, it was raining and on the drive to his place, the nearer it gets to his house, it rained heavily like fuuuuuuuu... I whatsapped him that I'm going to reached to his house in a few and he was all "Oh my god" faced and telling me he's nervous .

At his place, I was searching for him outside, it was rainy so my windows were all blurry and I had to call him right away . He was like "Look up" and i searched for a guy with a pink shirt since we were wearing clothes according to the color and today was pink day and well, I saw him but I denied that, that was him due to my asdfghjkl feelings . Kinda like a roller coaster going down a steep rail . Gosh ! On his way making it to my car, his grandfather walked him to the car with an umbrella and he was walking like a groom and i told my brother "macam nak kahwin je" and laughed. I then open the car door to let him in . It was awkward and the whole time, he was trying to make me look at him . I said no and no all the way . He then asked for my hands and i permission him to since I had always wished to touch his hands . It was soft and hard at the same time . There were scratches all over his fingers but I didn't mind how it look and feel like, I was finally holding his hands . It was real . He was whispering to me words through my ear, it was ticklish and also deafen since the raindrops were a sound wrecker . We took a picture though . Our first picture together :) I didn't look as what as I expected though . As always, weird but since it was US together, I didn't mind how and saved it to my phone to remind me our day together and for the first time, I felt safe .

We had our first kiss together at Subway, Carrefour, USJ . It was embarrassing since he was begging for it since we were in the car so i gave him a quick kiss when nobody was looking. Because of that, I didn't have the heart to eat because I was too happy . When we were on our way to Subang Avenue, he requested for a hand to hand walk but I keep saying "No, people are looking. There's too many people." and blushed . But when there was barely, I reached to his hands and embraced the moments we could . We also had moments on the elevator since I didn't want to lose my opportunity of having me in his arms in the lift because it's a shortcut out of it . I mean why would I escape ? It's my only chance . His hugs was so, undefinable . Inside the wheels, he insisted on putting a sock on my foot and I denied again xD I guess I wasn't used to this romantic stuff but I agreed on him helping me put my roller blades on since I was NEVER good at it even though I wore it several of times. Usually I would ask for help but this time, I didn't need to because he knew I didn't know how to . He had troubles of adjusting the ties at first but he successful put my foot inside the roller blades . We held hands when we skated . It was like a dream when he said "Don't let go" . Before this, I never had a time to hold my boyfriend's hand when I skated since he knew how good I am in skating . Even when I asked for his hands, we would hold for a several of seconds and he'll let me go . But Heuston, he was everything i could have ever ask for . When I wanted to go up the up and down platforms, he said "Let me hold your hand when you go up" at first i fell down since my speed was slow and then we tried the second time and i failed again but this time, he fell with me . We laughed and all and after that, we continued skating together . Behind the thick walls where nobody could see, we slow danced with roller blades and he knelt down on his knee and proposed to me again and hugged it out .

Our 4th monthsary together was amazing that i can't even.... I love him so much . Thank you bie .

When we were out from the wheels, after  the second escalator , he carried me to his arms and said "I had always wanted to carry my girlfriend like this" but my clothes were going up up and up so I was like "Yes, with my back showing" then he let me down and we hugged each other . He sent me back to Carrefour and waited for my brother to arrive but his grandmother was already waiting for him so I let him go first and he made sure I was safe before he left . He called me and said "Stay inside Subway" hahaha, it was cute of him and finally, I found a boyfriend who knew what I needed, a love that I wish to have for a long time and love a guy the way I wish to give my love to .

There's nothing to Stop

Assalamualaikum,

2 more days till the date :)

He's coming down tomorrow early in the morning . My heart is all thump but hopefully everything works out the way it's meant to be . He wanted us to wear pink and I hope I don't look weird because I just think that I'm weird . Gosh, I'm nervous at the same time . What if I look horrible ? what if I'm too shy to even speak ? Everything will be awkward . I worry too much . Insyaallah we'll make it through the day because this could be our only chance .