Maybe this...

Assalamualaikum

Personally,
I wanna restart this as a private and a personal blog for myself and whoever gets to read this, Hello!
You'd probably found me by accident because I have no reason to even post this on my social website. I like to treasure all the past stories I had post and tell you how my journey goes so far. Thank you for stopping by and reading.

There's so many things going on since last year and I don't know where to start and it's actually nothing to be happy about though my life is in tune. I have such troubles in my household lately but I'm happy to say, we're in the zone where everything is in a flow. It's very very personal that I would like to leave you wonder.

Come to think of it, did I mention that I came back to the place where I want to be? The path I chose to take? I've actually came back to the arms of someone I've lost back in the early of 2012. We've known too much to stop, talked too much to let it end and we saw changes that we thought fit to at least, try it again. To fall in love, start over and go through relationship seriously. What we had before were probably a past time to him and I know it wasn't for me but I kinda understood what he was going through and I kinda learn how boys or guys handle relationships. I've been through so many that I've experienced heartache that exist for a reason which I should take into consideration. If you were me, you'd probably understood why guys aren't always at fault.

You'd probably think that "Oh he didn't care! Oh he wasn't there for me!"

and that's probably because
You pushed him away often and cared too much of the damage he made.
You were busy with other people, talking to other boys, found someone else who you spend so much time with that he let you live your life as you wished.

I've seen  what boys became when I think too much of myself and became rather selfish of my own needs and became humble to other boys. I became a victim of everyone's greed and wants, and it wasn't fair for my boyfriend. Right now, I've learn to keep myself just for someone I dear. I don't easily expose any tears to my friends and search for scandals to keep my mind off, I usually just play games or sing just to past time. I don't hurt myself with cuts and bruises because if loving myself isn't a first step, nobody would love me too. My body and life is what makes myself beautiful and if someone comes in to love my story, I'd welcome them to my life. My life has its own secrets and only a few would learn to know them and the rest are oddly apart from my real self.

I admit, when I fell for someone, I fell so deeply that I somehow lose myself. Thinking that the relationship at start was a beautiful scenery until you reached the middle part where everything you seem to have known became awfully badder than before. I mean reading my old post have shown so much emotions to me. How I was such a fool to have known my love was foolish. I sat back and read what I have written in this blog itself to have made me feel embarrassed because it changed so much from time to time. I've yet to learn the right way of loving someone, even at this age. I'm 18 this year and I started to think maturely than a child like heart who saw puppy love all over. Of course it's romantic, everyone would want your relationship but you won't know how it goes till you face it. I'm never lucky with anybody, it depends who treats you and how you treat back.

I talk about love a lot in this blog but that's probably because that's the only thing I can do at the moment. I don't have the experience in travel because I seldom do so. I'm not exposed to this kind of things since I have yet to get my own pocket money from my own efforts and that my mom often gives me this advice that I should explore the world with my own living earns because it's much more fun and interesting to do so. I don't go out a lot because I was born to have learn to stay home a lot and spend more time on technologies or books. My life is possibly the most boring life you have ever come to know or you could define to change that thought. I'm not very peculiar with anyone who lives this kind of life. My friends know a lot more in the open world than I do since I sheltered myself so frequently. I just hope one day, I get to live the life I deserve.