Assalamualaikum :)
It's 1am here. I should really be in bed but im here just to talk a bit about what i'm feeling right now. I'm a mess. At times i was happy and there'll be the downs that i very much dislike . Bipolar? -Yea, a name i prefer being called for. Not sure if what i'm doing right now is right for me . I'm only following where life takes me. Never did i agree doing what i do now. I'm only here because i have to, because i have the chance to make things right again. It's not like i want what i did . Not like moving in a direction to hate anybody, dishonor everybody . I still need the courage to do something for myself. Only i know. Only i do. My heart is lock after what had happen before. To had trust people was the last thing i want to do. Nothing seems to go my way but I'm happy, i have a nice life now. What i'm saying is, instead of focusing on someone, i'm only focusing on myself but it gets pretty lonely around here. I usually get those texts like those couples used to say when they are mad for each other and right now, i'm doing that to my girlfriends, not in a lesbian way but it's how we girls roll. It's not the same with my friends. Seriously. Now no messages, no nothing. Just, nothing . I miss that feeling when i do that with that someone. Desperate? -I won't call it that way. I'm just practically feeling empty. Love used to be my EVERYTHING and now, it's just something i crave for.
I'm not putting love as a priority but i'm just stating the point of my loneliness. I'm still fine to the extend of what you think and see of me everyday. I'm totally fine. Goodnight then :) Bye and Sweet Dreams
No comments:
Post a Comment