So i ask my friend out and it turn out i was rejected but i didn't mind because, i just wanted to know how it feels to be with him. I mean i'm curious since he didnt have a girlfriend but hey, that makes everything special about him. Hopefully one day he's girlfriend have the best of him. I actually meant to say this to him but instead i said "i just want to get closer to you" so yeah, i kinda get messed up since i never ask a boy out before. hahaha I'm not actually searching for a boyfriend to replace my ex, I'm actually planning to sort things out before i do anything regretful since i still love him. I still don't plan to lose this feelings but more and more, i find him living his life the way he wanted. I was afraid of not MOVING. So i forced myself to like someone i didn't want to fall for and of course i don't like the guy who rejected me. I only see him as a friend.
Life's complicated. Forcing and doing things i don't want turn out to be awful(of course it's awful lol). I want to be #foreveralone . Really. I mean it. Chasing after guys is my weakness. I can never chase a guy. I'm bad at it. Starting tomorrow, after i wear the braces, people will see the change of me, not that BIG of a change but a change IN ME. I'm gonna play the innocent part now. but i can't face my brother. He put a lot of faith in me and my ex. To tell him it's over, he'll freak out and will actually, give me this speech of "DONT PUT THIS IN YOUR STUDIES" and all. My brother cares for me and i get it but, somehow, i just need some time to myself. Date myself to understand myself better. I'll do what i can to change my WEIRD life to something not weird anymore.
Definitely Positive
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