Things

Assalamualaikum,

A lot of things had happen this week even though it was only the 5th day . I got sick, fought, smiled, laughed, tumbled, scolded and nothing seems to be right . If I could judge myself, I'm all torn up . Looking at myself like I'm a dead zombie trying to pull a fight towards reality . I don't know , maybe I'm just a bit caught up with everything that nothing seems to put me in a position where i could boost my confidence of I could .

  All i know is that i need to study, a lot . Catch my time to train myself to not fail a test. I'll make myself happy if I do so and for that, My parents could smile along. I might lose my senses but I know when to fight back . I know I'm strong .

And I'm sorry Heuston for being so uptight about things but what you did was never sincere and that concludes you to be wrong here but I don't blame you. it's just that I want you to know that, that it's not right and I don't feel good about this week that things just go sadly sad . I pulled a string to pull my loud voices of explaining a matter . You reminded me of so many things that I'm having troubles controlling it . I'm sorry but I only want you to myself but hey, at least I think that way than not trying to want you at all . If that's wrong, I don't know what to do, I'm no robot, I can't keep holding my feelings back. I'm hurting here . So please, I'm not perfect, I can't be your angel, I can't keep saving my feelings or it'll blew me off a cliff to hate you, hate you because you did things that's hurting me because I never did try to cheat on you by doing things you don't like and want . I won't leave you but just take care of me like how I'm trying to take care of us . We were too busy falling in love that you forgot that I was actually unhappy with things . My smiles could fake so many reasons but with you, I just don't want to .

Because my smiles are only real when it's with you .